I'm Being Silly - I know that. Really, I know that.

It took great personal fortitude this morning for me to let go of something meaningful in my life.  I had tried several times over the last couple of months to release it.  In fact, I would release it, and then take it back.  I'm talking about my beloved sleep shorts. 

Yes, yes, I know the women reading this are rolling their eyes, and groaning, "Men!"  Oh they know we are prone to this syndrome.  We become attached to underwear, T-shirts, ball-caps and yes sleep shorts.  We become absolutely attached, they become beloved items in our wardrobe,  and we can even go into panic at just the idea of parting from them.

Outsiders marvel at our display of loyalty.  These items become ragged, worn thin, and maybe even full of holes.  And when someone hints they should be discarded, we snatch them back out of their glutches and hold them protectively to our chests--close to the heart.  We look at our loved ones, seeing them for what they are--crazed, depraved, and moan "they just got comfortable."

I can admit, in general, men are not strong enough to let such things go.  We just can't.  It feels too disloyal.  Luckily, many of us marry strong wives who have no compunction about such things.  They routinely discard them usually with a look of disgust. 

Once we learn our loved one had the nerve to throw our beloved item away, we will immediately throw a tantrum.  This is a ritual of thanksgiving for the loved one doing what we could not.  And please understand holding a grudge is part of our grief process and let me remind you doctors have said grief is a two year process.

But alas, I am divorced.  There is no wive to play this vital role in my life.  I had to do it . . . gasp . . . on my own.

I noticed my old friend (my sleep shorts) was not in good as shape as of late.  The cloth around the elastic was wearing away.  I didn't mind . . . they were comfortable. I didn't mind they had faded . . . they were comfortable.   I didn't mind when the first little pinhole showed up . . . they were comfortable.   I didn't mind when the hole got a bit larger, or when another hole appeared . . . they were comfortable.  I justified keeping them, nothing vital was revealed.  Many times I had thought I should replace them . . . but they were comfortable.  Each wash cycle they were a little worse for the wear . . . but they were comfortable.

This morning I heard the garbage truck picking up the recyclables and knew it was time.  I showered, changed clothes and picked up my beloved friend, my beloved sleep shorts, taking them with me as I went off for the day.  With great personal fortitude I dropped them off in the garbage can. 

Not looking back I offered a eulogy and the perfect epitaph . . . . they were comfortable

Normally, I like to post a picture relating to my message.  Aren't you glad I didn't this time?

And I hope this post reassures you my sense of humor is in tact.

Blessings everyone.

The Next Chapter

 It's been a week since I touched the book. I have finally managed to cut out another chapter--the 18th. i am now working on the last chapter of the original manuscript which was some 90 pages long. The task is to divide it into manageable and logical chapters. 

I chose this picture because this chapter starts with "I have come to the lower pasture to write." I loved this view and the experience of writing here.  I loved living in the barn as I know love living in California.

As I have reviewed part of this chapter I am struck by a couple of similarities. First, God and I are talking about wrapping things up by June. Which is when I currently hope to have the manuscript ready for the publisher. Second, I was facing some very tough financial realities in June 2009. As I am at the present. 

I am seeking to find a cheaper place to stay. I am having to make decisions as to what not to pay--car insurance, health insurance, cell phone, car payment? I have managed not to have my car repossessed twice now. And thank God for my tax return---hey, wait a minute it was my money in the first place. 

I have applied for several long term housesitting gigs, but none have come into fruition yet. I will probably get by for this month but come next month, I will be faced with some very hard decisions including giving up on following my heart. 

Over this last week, my faith has been stretched thin and through some processing with one of my most beloved of spiritual peers have recovered enough to continue work on my book. It has felt good to be editing again. 

Thank God for those spiritual friends who love me in spite of my faults; who amplify my virtues, minimize my failures and celebrate my successes. And as often as not see successes where I see failures. With their encouragement, I am inspired to walk a little farther down my path to see what will be revealed. God I love friends like that! 

So for now, for this month, the journey continues . . . . I am determined to get the book completed by June. 

Now, more than ever, I walk in faith . . . it will all work out.