Changes

This picture is from the first day of my current trip to California. While it was great to set my feet in the Pacific Ocean the water was still cold--certainly not as cold as in San Francisco Bay or even along the Oregon Coast--but it was still too cold to swim in for me. This was along Venice Beach and it was great fun to see all the funky people and shops. Yet that visit feels almost like ancient history.

I have just completed a seven day intensive retreat. I spoke briefly about this retreat in my last post. Of course, I was not alone and I spoke of the four people I was with in the last post. They are incredibly loving and powerful people. It was great to be amongst my peers. Please, do not read that as an egotistical statement.

We shared a strong desire to truly move beyond whatever personal issue we felt was holding us back from achieving the success we desired in and for our lives. Weeach brought high levels of experience, integrity, authenticity and consciousness to the group. We each brought a strong ability to stay in the moment and to trust our intuitions. This often manifested itself as saying the right thing/doing the right thing at the right moment that seemed to perfectly aid the process that was currently working. This included the ability to suggest just the right song for the moment and we have developed a soundtrack for the retreat. This diverse list includes music from U2, Crash Test Dummies, Marillion, John Denver, the Afro Celt Sound System, the soundtrack from Oliver as well as others. We each feel we have been profoundly changed by this retreat.


I started the week with the intention of understanding the issues that caused me to hold my weight. In the last post I spoke of working with my inner wounded child. This child felt protected by my layers of fat. Healing that child and bringing him fully into my heart helped fulfil my intention. So did one more process. A process that was so intense that I choose not to share it here. Through that process I came to understand that I did not have to be "big" to be seen or to be heard. I also do not have to be "big" to be able to be the powerful spiritual person that I am.

I could once again use a word that I far too often use (profound) but it might be more helpful for you to understand the change by describing how it has manifested itself: my body is talking to me. My body is telling me what it wants to eat. I know this is strange to hear and maybe even hard to believe but it is my real life experience. Imagine going to a restaurant and thinking that you were hungry for a hamburger but you're told by your body that it wants a salad. I ordered the salad. And it was great! More satisfying that I think the hamburger would have been. One evening we had all gone out to eat and I had ordered an entree and a dinner salad. The salad was great and I was looking forward to the entree. When it arrived at my table, I was no longer hungry for it--in fact it was nearly unappetizing--yet was exactly what I had ordered. I had it boxed up, and ordered another salad. This is not a diet. I am not sacrificing and what I eat is more satisfying that I thought possible. This is a lifestyle change. Oh, and i find my body likes to move: dancing, exercising walking and hiking.

I return to Illinois tomorrow.

The Journey continues