Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Life is Wonderful

This is the view from my chair this morning.  It's a wonderful misty and foggy fall day.  Days like this are rare here in California.  It seems to be the perfect day to spend contemplating and writing which is exactly what I have been doing.

I have much to contemplate and much to be thankful for.  My life is truly wonderful.  Oh, my finances are always strained, but I have all that I need and then some.

I have now attended three of Jean Houston's Mystery School weekends.  Each has been transformational.  The weekend was about Abundance.  Far too often in our western world we immediately think about money, but true abundance is much, much more than that.

The weekend included the Mystery School's Night of Gifting.  Jean held private individual sessions with each participant.  While that was going on, other participants gave of themselves as well.  Ten minute massages, storytelling, coaching, taro card reading, collage creations were just a few of the gifts offered along with music and dancing.  And I offered prophetic readings.

It took great courage to stand up in front of these 80 enlightened (and loving) people.  "My name is Richard, and I am a Prophet."  While very accepting and very respectful, they know the the real thing--and know when it's not.

I offered to answer one question per reading--approximately 10-15 minutes.  As this was a fun night, a night celebrating possibilities I wore my robes.  And grand fun it was.  I read from 7:30 - 2:00 AM.  I have done several of these reading parties, but this one left me more empowered than ever before.  I OWNED being a Prophet.  It IS part of my being.

For now, my session with Jean will remain private but it was part of the power of the night.  I once again was transformed by the Mystery School weekend.  I understand that Jean Houston is going to offer a virtual version in October.  If it's a powerful as my personal experience I can highly recommend it.

Meanwhile,  my schedule between now and the time I go back to Illinois is filling up.  Every Monday night I continue to attend the Art of Self Creation course that is based on my friend and housemate Scott's book: The User's Guide to Being Human.  I you hope you took the time to go and vote for his book. (See previous posting)

There's another Camp Harmony retreat this weekend here at the house. Two weeks after is another Mystery School weekend.   I will be staying in the bay area for a week to visit one last time with family and friends.  The weekend following is another Camp Harmony retreat weekend.  I'm teaching an Angelspeake class on October 28.

The first weekend in November I am attending a very special weekend led by Jean''s business partner Connie Buffalo who is Anishinaabe (Chippewa),  As humans, if we are fortunate, we travel The Four Hills of Life:  childhood, adolescence, adulthood and the path of the elder.  This weekend we will be living through all of these paths through the eyes of Anishinaabe belief. I am greatly looking forward to this experience.

I am extremely grateful to those who have sponsored me in these workshops.  My personal growth and development over the last year has been great.  I have worked through many deep-seated issues and have come to not just like myself, to not just believe in myself but to love myself.  I sincerely belief it's my calling to help others do the same by the sharing of my life and my journey.

On November 8th, I head back to Illinois.  Back to relationship.  Back to engagement and possible marriage.  Back to step-fatherhood.  Back to completion of my book and fulfillment of my calling.

My life IS wonderful.  So is yours!  Take a moment and appreciate the wonderment that surrounds you.

Blessings to each of you.  The Journey continues.  And at the moment it feels like it's at warp speed. lol.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Best Brilliant Idea for Humanity

As I have shared before I live in community with a household of powerful people including several writers.  My best friend Scott Miller has been working on his book, The User's Guide to Being Human for a couple of years already. 

Recently he began teaching a year-long class based on exercises from the book to an amazing group of people, including myself. The response has been phenomenal!

The exercises are simple yet profound and the experience is changing people's lives.  We have begun the process of creating a public benefit corporation with the mission of getting this information out to the public: schools, businesses, prisons, etc - in the effort to reach and empower people in all walks of life by teaching them about the amazing inner capacities that every one of us has - freely available within us. 

Please help us!  Scott has entered the Best Brilliant Idea for Humanity contest which will provide important coaching and funding opportunities that will help us get this off the ground. WE NEED YOUR VOTE! 

It's simple, click here Vote for Scott and go to the website - register - it takes less than a minute - then watch our video pitch - another 2 minutes and VOTE for us! If you still have a few minutes to spare, click over to our website/blog and leave a comment.

 Send the link to your network of friends.  Get them to check it out and vote as well.  The $50,000 grant could go a long way to getting this information out in the world.

Blessings,

Richard.


Friday, August 27, 2010

Not Since Oregon

Wednesday morning I got up at 5:30 and wrote.  I haven't done that since I lived in Oregon.  There is something magical about the hour before dawn.

Several years ago, while I was still working second shift, I often got up early every day and made my way to the riverfront.  I would write for several hours before my literacy student showed up for our tutoring session.

Those communications with God are some of my favorite.  They were filled with a wide variety of emotions--grief, anger, frustration as well as joy, love and gratitude.

Even then I knew I would leave to go to Oregon to write a book.  It may seem to many who have kept up with this blog that I have abandoned the book and my path.  That would be far from the truth.

Yesterday's writing affirmed all that I am currently doing--including coming back to Illinois to once again be in relationship. I am extremely excited about the prospects of being a step-father.  Yes, yes, I know that, too, seems like a miracle.  And maybe it is.

As I wrote, I realized that once I was living with what I have come to think of as "my" family, and was getting up early to help get the girls off to school, I could easily re-establish my writing habit.  Let me share an excerpt from yesterday's writing.

"Few men in your situation would see the advantage of getting up early to spend time with me. They would not see or understand the benefit for their families. Few men. And I will and do sing your praises accordingly. I sing to the heavens on your behalf.

Perhaps instead of arguing with you that you are praising me before the act, I could simply express my gratitude for this family. I thank you for bringing this family to me. I thank you for trusting me with this family.

I never thought I would have such a family. It is such a precious, precious gift that I do not think I would have appreciated at a previous time in my life. I think I would have only seen the burden--a consequence to my actions.

This family is a consequence of your actions; it is a consequence of your heart. These children do not come from your loins, yet you love them so dearly. You love them so dearly that tears came to your eyes out of gratitude. Do you realize how great of a man of heart, of faith that you are? Yet you think, it is untold for me to sing your praises?

My dear God, I come to family late in my life; at a time when I can appreciate the gift that such a family is.

I observe that many men only truly appreciate their families as it matures. I think they get so caught up in the routine of providing for and raising their families that they take it for granted. I think the moments that they cherish their families is fleeting. I do not wish--in any way--to diminish their devotion to their families for I do know they love their families.

But, my dear Lord, I have not done anything to bring this family into fruition. I do not know what it means to be responsible for a family--neither in its creation or in its continued sustenance. I have not been burdened by said responsibilities--and in fact will not be so burdened with this family. I am not currently burdened with going to a job to provide for said family.

So it is easy for me to cherish this family, to cherish "my" family. I am grateful for this opportunity, but it does not mean I am worthy of your praise. Instead, my dear Lord, hold your praise for those men, for those women who have been responsible for their actions. Praise those who get up and start another day even though they are tired. Praise those who do not have the time to start their days with devotions to you because they are devoted to their families. Praise those who are so devoted to their families that they lose themselves—they forget who they are except in the context of family.

My dear son, I realize you are on a tirade for all the unsung, under-praised heroes of all the unsung families—but I will not allow you to dismiss the significance of what you are doing.
It cannot be ignored that many have observed you to be an extremely selfish man who has done what he wanted when he wanted. Many thought your actions of retiring to go off to write a book—even if it was with me—to be a very selfish act. Some even thought it as the act of being irresponsible. 

Few, I repeat, few saw it as the act of faith it was. And few will see you going back to Illinois to be the head of this family as the act of it is as well. But I see it, I know it to be such an act and I do sing your praises because of it!"


You can read the entire writing by clicking here:  Gratitude, Responsibility, and Faith

You may notice I have shaved in this picture.  It's been many, many years since I was clean shaven.  Not since I was a professional clown.  I was amazed to learn that while I had dated the woman who I am going into relationship with for over two years, she never told me that my beard tickled her.  Sometimes love means being clean shaven.

Blessings to your all.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

With Great Courage


It is time that I fessed up to all that I am, even as I know that I may well be ridiculed for doing so. It takes great personal courage for me to say this.

I am a prophet.

Some of you may have known of this before or read my posting about this. The simple truth is that I have had prophetic abilities for quite some time. I have not openly admitted to this in fear of ridicule.

Yet it remains that I have helped many, many people with my prophetic readings. I have aided many in their soul's next evolution. It has now come time for me to offer my services to the general public instead of just my spiritual peers.

From this point forward this blog will include a link to my website where I speak about my prophetic readings and where I do offer my services. http://richardtheprophet.rwdickson.com/

To my detractors: Let me reassure you that I have not gone off on some deep end while here in California. While I was extremely discrete about it, I had this ability while I lived in Illinois, working as a lab tech in a chemical plant. I just never spoke about it openly, but only amongst my spiritual peers.

I understand that you may not fully appreciate the truth of what I am sharing with you. I have not always understood it either, but I DO KNOW it is a God-given ability and that I can no longer hide my talent under a basket. It is part of my spirituality and my deep devotion to God. I ask that you respect it as such.

If you feel there is a need for answers in your life, I would be glad to be of service.

And regardless of if you believe in my prophetic abilities or ever choose to take advantage of them, I offer you my blessing:

May God bless you along your path to deeper understanding of self, of love, of life and of God.

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

The Land of Never

I seem to be living in the Land of Never. This is not the same land that Peter Pan was so fond of, but the land of all that I said I would never do seems to be coming into being. When I retired and moved to Oregon to write, I was filled with a lot of never.

I thought I would never return to live in Illinois. Iowa, maybe, but never Illinois. I thought I would never consider going back to work. I thought I would never return to the girlfriend I left behind. I thought I would never be in another committed relationship. I thought I would never consider marriage again. I thought I would never walk away from my book. I thought I would never have my own family. I thought I would never be a father.

In my previous post I spoke of letting go of my preconceived ideas of who I am. And so I have. Including those I had about my book. It seems appropriate to first share my thoughts about this aspect of myself, as it was what took me away from all that I hold as near and dear.

The book has been written. And in many ways I am complete with that process. I have it partially edited, and have no compulsion to complete it. None. That which drove my life for the last couple of years is simply gone. That which once defined me is simply--changed.

I would almost tell you that I have no need to write another word. That is not quite true, for I do still have a need to write but not on the book. I continue to communicate with God in writing, and feel I will always have a need to do so. That does not mean have a need to share it.

I have no need to publish my book.
I have no need to share my understandings about life and God.
I have no need to guide others in their spiritual paths.
I have no need to heal others through love and energy.

That does not mean I will not do those things, only that I no longer NEED them to define who I am. I no longer NEED them to be fulfilled and satisfied within my life.

I am happy with who I presently am. I like who I am. I even love who I am. More than this I am simply allowing my heart to continue to guide my life. Somehow my heart has been healed in ways that remain inexplicable. I strongly feel I am stepping into my next level of evolution.

Oh, and I am VERY AWARE of how I have evolved over the last couple of years. I am literally not the same man. I am not the same man I was on January 1st. I am not even the man I four months ago. I am not even the same man I was at the first of June when I went to be with my younger sister prior to her surgery.

My life has simply and profoundly changed. All due to my heart.

Many reading this must imagine that I am going to announce that I have fallen in love. And they would be correct. There is a woman and love involved but if I were honest about what really has changed; I would say that I have fallen in love with myself. Oh, I know that is far too new age for some reading this. Or maybe far too Californian. Yet it remains that this is the biggest factor in all that is unfolding before me.

Long before I had retired I embarked on A Journey of the Heart. I little realized it was really a journey of self-discovery. This journey, this journey of the heart, was not just of self-discovery, but of self-healing. Over the course of this last year, I have have healed deep wounds within myself. Some of those processes I have shared here.

I came to once again feel loved. By myself. I cannot emphasize that enough. The change has been within me. I started to let the love in that has been surrounding me most of my life. IT had always been there, I just didn't let it in.

I know that I have many people who know me will be surprised by this. They know me as having a very loving heart. Some have felt the intensity of my love. And I have been aware they have intensely loved me in return. Not that I ever let it truly in. I didn't trust love, I didn't trust myself to let it in. I had been hurt so many times. Over the last year, that has been healed.

I return to the relationship I left when I set out on this journey of self-discovery. For two years I have tried to forget her and to break that heart connection. But all I needed to do was to hear her voice and all of my feelings would come slamming back into my heart.

I would see her each time I returned to the area for a visit. She had moved on. She had a boyfriend. Just being in her presence, over lunch, my emotions would run high but I was respectful of her new relationship.

The more we saw each other, the more we realized we both still had strong feelings for the other. After she broke up with her boyfriend, we decided to pursue a relationship. This is more than what we shared when we were boyfriend and girlfriend. We are proceeding the with idea of a live-in relationship. That sounds so simply, but in the way of all of life is not.

She has three daughters, 18, 15, and 7. I had been reluctant to meet them before now. I had known I was leaving and felt it would complicate their lives for me to enter and then leave their lives. I am now willing. I realize that they have a father, yet I am aware I cannot help but have some level of influence in their lives. Yes, this means, at the age of 55, I am pursuing some level of fatherhood.

We are consciously pursuing this. We hold many deep and serious conversations. Neither of us are naive about what all of this might mean. We are not acting from a place of innocence believing that all will just naturally work out, but that we must work together--first as a couple and then as a family for this to be successful. There are no guarantees that we will indeed end up in relationship, only that we are seriously pursuing it.

I am still in California as we pursue this even as my heart yearns to be back with her. Yet, I know that it is best for me to remain here. I am not complete with my personal development. There are three more Jean Houston weekends go attend. The next is in September and the one following it is in October. Financially it makes more sense for me to remain on this coast until I complete at least those two. The third is in December.

It might be of interest to you to know that September's workshop is on Prosperity. I find that fascinating as I used the funds I had reserved for these classes on my trip to be with my sister prior to her surgery. Further, October's class is on Relationships. I cannot ignore the synchronicity of this as I am pursuing a relationship that includes fatherhood.

I had hoped that I would be able to see her when I returned in August for my family reunion. I won't be attending, as my funds are exhausted. I am job hunting, in hopes of building funds for the Jean Houston weekends. I love my family, but have had to set those weekends as the higher priority. I never thought I would make my personal development a priority over my family, but these workshops play a big part in who I have become--and that is a man who loves himself.

So, as you can see what I say I am in the land of Never. I never thought I would be here and not at this time in my life--yet it is here. I am here and I simply allowing it to unfold. I DON'T have all the answers. I am simply LIVING it.

I am trusting love. I am trusting my heart and I continue this wonderful, blissful and exciting Journey of the Heart.

Monday, June 28, 2010

The Mountain Top

I have been to the mountain top.

I say that tongue in cheek, as many reading this consider my moving to Oregon to write a book (and my subsequent move to California) to be the equivalent of a hermit going to the mountain top to sit and and contemplate the meaning of life.

Two days after returning from my three week trip back to Illinois, the household went into retreat. We spent five days reflecting upon our year of living in community.

We looked at the intentions we had set during that first retreat and reflected upon our personal growth over the year. We also looked at where we presently are in our lives and where we felt we were going.

Much like the hermit upon the mountain top, my reflection brought me new insights about myself, about my life, and where I am now going. Some of which may surprise those who regularly read this blog. I will admit that several of them surprised me as well. Join me, as I climb the mountain as I share my journey of reflection and insight.

One of the my first intentions was to let go of my fear and doubt about the book.

My reflections included: The book has become almost insignificant to my personal growth and development. Further, it is not possible for me to proceed with the book without balancing both myself and my life. I no longer have fear or doubt about the book or its impact. I am not abandoning the book, but will work on it as I am called to do so. The book is the journey and not the designation. It has been, is and will remain A Journey of the Heart.

Another of my intentions was to let go of the fear of success.

My reflections: There was a time that I could only mark myself as a success if the book was published or if I was revered as an author or spiritual leader. I have come to realize that it was much more important for me to be comfortable with who and what I am. Success now looks like me not just liking myself . . . . .but loving myself. All else comes from there.

As it was one of the group's original intentions, we next reflected on our growth during the last year regarding Intimacy/Relationship.

My reflections were varied:

I often felt absolutely alone even as I was living in a household where I was loved more intensely, more unconditionally than I had ever been. This seemed to be more about my ability to receive the love rather than how well or intensely I was loved.

My greatest intimacy has been in being myself. That is my authentic self. I stopped presenting an image just so that I would be loved. I presented my true, my authentic self, only to find I was still loved.

Releasing the deepest, darkest wounds within my being allowed me to let go of not just self-judgment and self-loathing, but a deep set self-hatred that I had not realized I carried. I came to not just forgive my father who I thought was responsible for the deep wounds but came to understand my own responsibility for them. I forgave myself which started an intimate relationship with myself.

With all this reflection we asked ourselves two questions: What’s the most essential to remember—for the last year, and for now?

From the past year:

My personal growth of both healing and finding myself.

Being fully authentic as possible about who and where I am, but always realizing I AM choosing.

Who do I choose to be now?

I thought I was the book only to learn I had nothing to do with the book. Yes, yes the story is mine, but I am so much more than the book—to the point that the book or the publishing of the book is NOT an essential part of me.

I no longer need love like an addict who must have it, must have it like a fix at all costs—and will do anything to get it. I found a new balance of mind, body and spirit and not just like myself but have come to love who I am. So much so that I don’t need to be loved by another to define who I am. Yet, when I do choose to love, it is perfectly okay to say that I have certain needs that I would like fulfilled.

For now:

Who do I choose to be now?

To be fully authentic first with myself, then with others—and of course, as always, with God.

I am fulfilled and perfect as I am. Right now. Right here.

Follow my heart.

Forget all my preconceptions of who and what I am and simply be.

Who do I choose to be now?

Acknowledge my gifts and abilities but do not allow them to define me for they too can limit me.

Yet with all of that said, I need not play small. I need to acknowledge that I am a divine being and by choosing to go into relationship—even to the point of letting go of my preconceived idea of what I am about—does not mean I quit being big, or that I am retreating from all that I am, but that I am choosing this as my next step in evolution.

Who do I choose to be now?

The last two days of my household's retreat was to empower ourselves in our individual pursuits. We literally climbed to the mountain top. It was dusk as these low-light photos indicate. As often happens in life the destination was not as important as the journey.

Many friends know that I am afraid of heights. Yet I climbed in faith with the love and support of my housemates. The inclines were steep. A slip or fall would certainly have meant broken bones. I amazed myself as we climbed to the pinnacle. I literally sat on the mountain top.

And while there I let go of my preconceived ideas of who I am and soared into the perfect freedom to be whoever I choose to be.

In my next blog I will share some more of what I am choosing--including the possibility that I am moving back to Illinois.


Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Corrections / Editing

Ever wondered why it takes me so long to edit my book?

It 's because as my beloved aunt points out in her comments--I'm a terrible speller. And the spell check on this blog does not check grammar. So I published an embarrassing post where I didn't seem to know the difference between wear and where. I did spell check it but didn't read it over as I was in a hurry to get it posted before my date arrived.

I don't mind having such errors pointed out as at least I know someone is reading the blog. I have
made the appropriate corrections.

I have made if safely back to California and will go into retreat with my housemates on Thursday.

Blessings.


I am not back in

Monday, June 14, 2010

And back again


During my visit to Illinois in May I learned that my younger sister was seriously ill. She was having trouble with her bladder and her bowels. At one point they thought it might be cancer or MS or another neurological disorder.

The final diagnosis was that she has a cyst on her spinal column that is putting pressure on the nerve system to her lower regions. The shutting down of her organs was due to this. Or so they think. They scheduled surgery nearly immediately.

During surgery they would remove two vertebrae, drain the quarter sized cyst, put the vertebrae back, fusing them together, and then rehabilitate her. She would have to learn to walk again. Success rate: 1% permanent paralysis below the waist, 6% other complications, 93% success. Even with this, there is no guarantee that the problem with her organs would correct itself.

I decided to come back for the surgery. I returned the Wednesday after my Jean Houston weekend. I had come home for two weeks and then returned to Illinois.

It ended up there were complications in her pre-op testing, and surgery was delayed. I had planned for this, extending my stay for 3 weeks, returning June 15th.

Further testing cleared her for surgery ------- for June 21st. It was decided the surgery requires two neurosurgeons and one of them was not available until the 21st.

Unfortunately, I have another retreat scheduled for June 18-21, and it is necessary for me to return to California. My sister understands my decision to return and we both feel my visit has been worthwhile. I have significantly worked with her to prepare her for surgery. The process itself will remain private for now but I will share that I worked to remove her fear and help her to be at peace before going into surgery.

If you are reading this, and I was unable to visit with you during this trip, please know that I have meant no disrespect, but that my attention was elsewhere.

Blessings upon you all.

Robes


It's been more than a month since I last posted. Obviously, I have been busy. I was home (in California) for a week and then went back to Petaluma for my second weekend workshop with Jean Houston. This weekend was on ritual and ceremony. I had some extraordinary experiences during the weekend. Some of which I may share later on this blog.

During my first weekend workshop in February with Jean Houston we were invited to wear celebratory clothing to the Saturday evening session. That started on a journey of self exploration.

While living in California I have worked many processes working with the deep wounds of my life. I have come to peace. I also have deepened my spirituality through my writings, my meditations and personal growth and development. Some of which has been shared here. I have longed for their to be a way for me to demonstrate the significant changes in my life. Along came Jean Houston's invitation to wear celebratory clothing. I observed others wore many different types of clothing, tunics, caftans, etc. And that got me thinking about wearing a cloak or robe.

I designed a set of robes to wear to certain of the spiritual events that I attend. I wear them in celebration and when called to officiate at other ceremonies. I will say more about this as time goes on, but for now, let me simply say that the robes are an outward expression of my inner self.

I feel empowered, at peace and in grace when wearing them. And no, I haven't gone so far off the deep end that I wear them all the time. I will talk more about my robes and their significance later, but there is more going on in my life that I feel is more important to share. So for now, I'll simply post these pictures and go on to my next post.

Blessings.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Have Returned

This is my first full day back in California. And I have much work to do.

One of my first tasks was to update this blog. I do know that many follow it and the developments of my life.

I have often spoken of this household and my housemates. We live in a very unique environment which is full of empowerment and dynamic energy. Yet, I fear, we often take it for granted.

It is not until I have left this environment that I notice it. It usually takes about a week for it to wear off. I feel slightly less energized and somehow out of sync. It's a subtle thing and it doesn't interfere with the enjoyment of visiting, but is noticeable. It makes me miss my housemates. And I wonder if they feel my absence as I feel theirs.

As I prepared to leave, I could feel their energy draw me. Like a moth to the light or a lost puppy to home.

It is good to be back home. Even as it was nice to visit back home. An interesting dichotomy.

There is more to share of my visit and I will post of it in the near future.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

The Scratch

I spent most of Tuesday on the USC campus writing. It was a very long conversation with God and I may post it when I get it typed. It is some 28 handwritten pages in length.

I love to write in long hand. I love the scratch of the pen upon the page. It somehow connects me to all the writers down through time. It is a very meditative sound and I have come to find very reassuring for almost always it means I am in communication with God.

I am traveling today back east to hold a retreat with dear friends and to visit other friends and of course family.

Blessings, everyone!

The Journey continues . . .

Monday, April 19, 2010

A New Writing

I know that many were a little surprised by, and perhaps a little dismayed by, the discussion of Sacred Lovemaking contained in my last writing.

I understand others objections to such material, yet I was compelled to post it. I realize that such postings, such writings may cause others to question if I am indeed talking to God. I can almost hear their thoughts,"This doesn't sound like any God that I ever heard of."

That is the point of such writings, in fact, it is the point of all of my writings. To expand your understanding of God, just as my own understanding about God has been expanded.

I realize the last couple of writings may be considered controversial. I hesitated to post them and I will admit I have even hesitated to receive other writings. You will read about that in this writing.

I will warn you that the discussion continued\s along the lines of the last one. God and I were discussing sexuality and spirituality and my book.

I hope you find it of interest.

Once again, just click on My Writings to the right of this posting and you will be taken to my latest writing.

Blessings.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

I continue to be amazed

Even after six years of being able to talk to God, I continue to be amazed by the process. I have received hundreds, if not thousands, of pages of communication; yet I am still left in awe.

Over the last couple of days I have been typing my latest writing. I hope to be able to post it in the near future. I usually write using pen and ink. As I have shared before, I love the sound of the pen scratching upon the page. And there is still a scratch even though I am using a gel ink pen. This present writing took me several hours to receive and is 15 pages (7 pages front and back + 1).

Yet I am finding that as I am typing it, the communication continues. Sometimes I am adding a sentence of my own but more often than not, it is God who is expanding on his previously shared thought.

It's an amazing process. And I sometimes worry about it.

Those of you who really know me will not be surprised that I tend to be a worry wart. Usually over some inane detail that no one else cares about. Let me explain my present worry.

I realize it is difficult for some to believe that I am truly talking to God. The God that appears in most of my writings is not the God that we grew up with at Sunday School. The God that I communicate with is very loving and understanding and seems to be much better at understanding the human condition and the experience we call life. These communications have brought me great understanding and have strengthened my faith.

I do my very best to share these writings verbatim. I openly admit that these communications often come rapid fire and that I am taking dictation as fast as I can. Because of this the writings are not always grammatically correct. I try to correct this when I type them.

Now comes writings like this one, when I am not only editing them for grammar, but God is adding dialogue. I fear that if someone were to read the handwritten version and the typed version that it appears that I am putting words in God's mouth.

In the past, I dealt with this issue rather severely. I destroyed my handwritten notebooks. I felt guilty about doing so and can't bring myself to do so again. Yet I worry.

So instead, I have tried to more frequently share the details of this process. I know there are others who receive communications in a like manner from angels or from God or both. They ,I am sure, will understand what I am speaking about in these paragraphs.

Still, all in all, this process leaves me in awe. The words come to me an instant before I write them. I then write my side of the dialogue and once again receive a response. And so it goes as I write within my journal.

I am now finding that the same thing is happening as I type these writings. More communication comes. Often explaining or expanding upon a thought.

Whether in the pen and ink process or the keyboard process I am truly blessed to receive these communications. I openly admit that I am very good at doing so. That is simply because of practice. As I said before, I have received hundreds of pages.

One final thought. One that I have repeatedly shared. There is nothing that I do that anyone else could not also do if they would simply listen. With practice, anyone can receive the hundreds of pages that I do.

Just try it. I dare you.

Blessings.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

I Have Moved

Relax! No, I am not moving back to Illinois.

I simply have moved into a bigger room within the household. My housemate's teenage son moved out to his own apartment. This left his bigger room available. I spent most of yesterday moving my stuff.

I spent the most time moving my wall of quotes. The positive energy of these quotes surround me as I sleep. Well, almost surround me, I need to add a few more to the headboard space. At times, I think I have enough quotes that I could cover all for walls with them. I just need to print them out. So much to do, so little time. :)

I think the most glaring thing about this picture is that I am badly in the need of a new bedspread. I bought this rustic patterned one on clearance when I lived in the barn in Goldhill, Oregon.



The best and worse things about this room are the glorious windows. While I sit in my lounge chair I look out upon the landscape. Somehow it makes me feel closer to nature. There is also a wonderful nightscape to look out upon. I do most of my writing and typing while in this lounge chair and so I do love this sitting area.

You will notice I have placed my angel collection upon the windowsill. I like the way they are backlit by the morning light or the moonlight at night.

I am not a morning person, and there is far too much light in the morning, so the shutters do get closed. Of course, the angels are not very happy when I close the shutters but they do seem to prefer the windowsill to the shelves I could have put them on.

I keep a few pictures near my chair, including one of Brother Tree that I frequently glance at as I work.

All in all, I do like my new space. I think I will be staying for a while longer. I do like California. More accurately I like the personal growth and development that I have gone through since arriving here. Sadly, the same opportunities do not exist in the Midwest.

I do miss my friends and family and am so glad that we have been able to stay in touch via phone and email

Blessings to everyone.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

On This Day


On this day of my birth, I have been reflecting upon my life and particularly about these past few weeks. I am aware of many deep changes in my persona and in my life.

The more I understand about myself, the deeper my sense of peace and harmony. Over the last few weeks and months I have tried to bring balance into my life. And I think, to the most part, I have accomplished that.

Part of these balance, part of the this peace and harmony, is directly due to my awareness of the beautiful world around me. I feel extremely connected to nature, to the earth. It's not something I am observing, but something I am. I am part of the planet.

These concepts may be either too grandiose for some, or perhaps too airy-fairy. Yet my life has been transformed. This is not a Californian thing but a spirituality thing. I certainly live in a household where such thoughts are not just welcomed, but commonplace. I live amongst spiritual peers and we are a blessing onto each other.

Moving here is one of the best decisions I have made. Even as it has distanced me from those that I hold near and dear.

On this day, I honor and bless:
all that have been in my life,
are in my life,
and will be in my life.

I sincerely pray that I have enriched your life as you have enriched mine.

Blessings.

The photo was taken a week ago during my visit to the redwoods. Brother Tree is behind me.

Thursday, April 08, 2010

It Can Happen

Things can happen that I don't fully understand.

I spend most of Easter Weekend with a slight sore throat. I didn't think much of it, as I had spent a lot of time talking, and thought that was the cause of the soreness.

On the way back home on Sunday afternoon and evening, I started sneezing and blowing my nose. Great: a cold.

On Monday, I noticed gunk around my left eye. And I assumed the cold had moved to my eye as sometimes happens with nasal congestion.

But by Monday night, I suspected it was Pink Eye. Tuesday morning I confirmed this with my housemate and picked up an over-the-counter treatment. To no avail.

Wednesday, morning it had moved the right eye as well. The discharge seemed worse than the left had been.

Not taking any chances, I did go to the doctor and get a antibiotic eye treatment and a Zpak of oral antibiotic.

The only irritating thing has been the itch in my eyes and my fatigue the last couple of days.

I know that Pink Eye is most often associated with childhood and I seriously don't remember ever getting it, but do remember my neighbors getting it.

I have no idea how I contacted it, but it can happen even as an adult. Knowing it is contagious, I have been extremely cautious, using hand sanitizer and such.

Today, is the first day I have felt like working, and am hoping this means I am over the worse. The cold has been more at the nuisance stage than at the full-blown stage although the doctor thought I had the start of a nasal infection.

Oh, and there was another snafu as my prescription card would not work. that I had a problem with my health insurance when my left eye went blind. I got that straightened out, and I'm sure I'll get my prescription coverage back as well.

Not having the coverage helped me to appreciate the plight of those without such coverage. The eyedrops were $107 and the Zpak was $45. I'm sure I'll get it back, but I certainly wondered how others would afford it.

And so the Journey continues . . .

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

The Beloved Forest

Yesterday, on my Journey of the Heart blog, I spoke of visiting my beloved redwood forest. Again and again the meditations speak of the energy of the forests. Today's meditations speaks of Buddhism rising out of the forest.

I know such peace while in the forests. Yes, particularly, the redwoods forest, but all forest. The same is true when I am in a park that is filled with old trees.

I find that I somehow walk softer upon the earth when I am in forests. As I receive peace from the forest, I give back love, peace and harmony.

Most of all I am hold the trees and the forest in honor and respect. And in moments I include the entire earth in that thought.

Blessed Be.

Monday, April 05, 2010

A Great Weekend


I had a whirlwind weekend in the Bay area. I was visiting both family and friends. Each day seemed to be packed full of activities. My cousins prepared a turkey dinner on Friday night. There is just something about a roasted turkey that says both family and home.


On the way home I was able to visit Brother Tree in my favorite redwood forest. The weather varied between drizzle and rain. There was one family who were persevering to hold a family celebration but other than than that my two friends and I were the only people in the forest.

It was damp and cold. It was near fifty degrees and with wind and cold it felt good to be bundled up including gloves. Despite the weather it is was still great to visit the forest. It was quiet, and serene. And somehow more alive.

Of course the forest is alive. Yet as I stood and listened to the rain hit the leaves and it drip down to the ground, the forest seems to surround me in its energy.

Brother Tree particularly offered warmth and comfort, as I stepped into him to commune with him. And yes, I'm a confirmed tree hugger!

Blessings upon the Earth!

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

A Name Change / Reverting Back

It has been a long time since I have spoken about my book. I will admit to having spent most of my time on personal development. Yet I have not been fully ignoring my book. With the help of creativity coach, I have revisited the vision of the book.

With that in mind, I have changed the name of my book back to A Journey of the Heart.

That may not surprise many who have read this blog. After all it was the original title of the book as well as this blog. But it is the subtitle has more closely describes my present vision for the book.

Heart

of the

A Journey







A memoir of how I found peace and harmony for my life

and along the way found out how to love myself.


You will notice that I have also changed the description of this blog to the above.
This does not lessen the impact my communications with God have had on my life. They are in fact the method by which I found much of the peace and harmony.

It is my sincere wish that by sharing my life on the pages of my book (and this blog) that others might also discover how they too can come to love themselves.

And so . . . The Journey Continues.