Returning to Camp Harmony

Sunday I will leave for Iowa to visit family and to pick up some of what I have stored there. I will leave Tuesday for Santa Rosa where I'll spend a week or so. I am sure to visit the redwoods once again. Sometime in during the following week I will head south to the LA area--there is another Camp Harmony scheduled.

Anyone who has been following this blog will know that that the last Camp Harmony had a profound effect upon me. I have been reluctant to share those experiences with anyone beyond my most intimate friends. Yet this move to California will surprise and perhaps bewilder some of my most devoted supporters.

I have shared many experiences on this blog that have been beyond many peoples experience or even understanding. Yet they have been very real to me, and part of my life. So too are the experiences of Camp Harmony. Recently I wrote a lenghty letter to a friend descriibng those experiences. I have edited it to down to eleven pages. If you are truly interested, then you can read it on my From the Barn blog. The link is at the bottom of the page.

I will address the main issue of my book. No, it is not edited. Nor have I felt a need or desire to do so. The simpliest explanation is that I am not ready. I haven't abanonded it, nor have I even postposed it. I am very aware that what I am presently going through is part of the book process. As I went into the Camp Harmony retreat I came to realize that to fulfull all that the publishing of my book means, I must become balanced in body, mind and spirit.

As I said that, I thought I was very balanced in spirit and mind, and needed a lot of work on my body. That ought to teach me to think. lol. During the last few weeks I have been in great turmoil as I have strived to bring about the balance that I believe is not just necessary but essential. I have often said that I am at peace and harmony with and for my entire life. And so it might be surprising that I can be in such turmoil. (You can read more about this in the forementined article, but there is more to this than even what I share there.) What might surpsie you even more is that I chose to be in such turmoil. I can only say that it takes a great inner peace to chose such internal turmoil in effort to discover an even deeper sense of inner peace.

I don't know how long I will say in California. Long enough to get a job to support myself. I need to be close to my friends as this journey continues to unfold.

The journey continues.

http://journeychapters.blogspot.com/2009/08/camp-harmony-experiences.html

Still not editing

This rock formation is near Chatsworth, California where I was recently spent time in retreat with some great people. I have already posted about that experience but wanted to share this picture.

I have not yet edited my book. I had hoped to do so recently when while I was in Iowa to house sit for a vacationing cousin . While in route, I learned his brother had passed away. He had fought a hard battle against cancer for the last two years. His passing was a blessing but of course greatly grieved my family. My cousin did not take his vacation trip and instead of house sitting I helped my family at this time of loss.

I have returned to Illinois and have not felt like editing the book. It will come in all due time. Meanwhile I have applied for several house sitting jobs in California. I hope to live there for several months so I can be closer to my friends. House sitting seems like the perfect retirement job for me. It provides a place to stay and quiet to work on the book.

The journey continues.

Changes

This picture is from the first day of my current trip to California. While it was great to set my feet in the Pacific Ocean the water was still cold--certainly not as cold as in San Francisco Bay or even along the Oregon Coast--but it was still too cold to swim in for me. This was along Venice Beach and it was great fun to see all the funky people and shops. Yet that visit feels almost like ancient history.

I have just completed a seven day intensive retreat. I spoke briefly about this retreat in my last post. Of course, I was not alone and I spoke of the four people I was with in the last post. They are incredibly loving and powerful people. It was great to be amongst my peers. Please, do not read that as an egotistical statement.

We shared a strong desire to truly move beyond whatever personal issue we felt was holding us back from achieving the success we desired in and for our lives. Weeach brought high levels of experience, integrity, authenticity and consciousness to the group. We each brought a strong ability to stay in the moment and to trust our intuitions. This often manifested itself as saying the right thing/doing the right thing at the right moment that seemed to perfectly aid the process that was currently working. This included the ability to suggest just the right song for the moment and we have developed a soundtrack for the retreat. This diverse list includes music from U2, Crash Test Dummies, Marillion, John Denver, the Afro Celt Sound System, the soundtrack from Oliver as well as others. We each feel we have been profoundly changed by this retreat.


I started the week with the intention of understanding the issues that caused me to hold my weight. In the last post I spoke of working with my inner wounded child. This child felt protected by my layers of fat. Healing that child and bringing him fully into my heart helped fulfil my intention. So did one more process. A process that was so intense that I choose not to share it here. Through that process I came to understand that I did not have to be "big" to be seen or to be heard. I also do not have to be "big" to be able to be the powerful spiritual person that I am.

I could once again use a word that I far too often use (profound) but it might be more helpful for you to understand the change by describing how it has manifested itself: my body is talking to me. My body is telling me what it wants to eat. I know this is strange to hear and maybe even hard to believe but it is my real life experience. Imagine going to a restaurant and thinking that you were hungry for a hamburger but you're told by your body that it wants a salad. I ordered the salad. And it was great! More satisfying that I think the hamburger would have been. One evening we had all gone out to eat and I had ordered an entree and a dinner salad. The salad was great and I was looking forward to the entree. When it arrived at my table, I was no longer hungry for it--in fact it was nearly unappetizing--yet was exactly what I had ordered. I had it boxed up, and ordered another salad. This is not a diet. I am not sacrificing and what I eat is more satisfying that I thought possible. This is a lifestyle change. Oh, and i find my body likes to move: dancing, exercising walking and hiking.

I return to Illinois tomorrow.

The Journey continues