The Father Within

In my previous post I mentioned I just concluded a 46 page writing.  The last two days of that writing had been particularly poignant.  That portion of the writing is 22 pages long.  If anyone would like to read the entire narrative, leave a comment and I'll see what I can do.

Meanwhile I offer this excerpt from February 26, 2011:

So now back to my deep reflection.

I am an incredibly loving father.  I am the perfect loving father—for me.

In those moments as an emotionally wounded eight year old, I needed a particular kind of love.  I needed a father who understood me and loved me.  I needed to be surrounded in love and to be told everything would be okay.  I needed to be told how I experienced the world was real and I wasn’t out of my mind.

Through the miracle of meditation I was able to go back in time and be the loving father I needed.

(Long pause as I contemplate the above.)

What a blessing, what a miracle!

This may be a little confusing but I hope our readers can follow my line of thought.

My unborn children woke up a dominant seed of fatherhood in me.  It grew into a desire to experience fatherhood.  This led to discussions with you about fatherhood and my abilities to be a loving father.  You reassured me my loving heart would be enough.  I then indeed experienced fatherhood and though the miracle known as Little One knew the love of a young child very near the age I was when I was so emotionally wounded.

All of this happened to prepare me to be the perfect father to me.  

Through the miracle of meditation, I went back not once, but twice, to talk to myself, to console my wounded spirit, to restore my faith, and most of to unconditionally love myself.

This meditation, the resetting or rewriting of my past has real time consequences.

How so?

I am a very loving man.  I would go so far as to say my ability to be a loving father is directly due to having reset my past.

You are saying your ability to go back in time to the crucial moment to be the loving father you needed is directly due to having gone back in time to be the loving father you needed therefore resetting your past?

I am.

This indeed is a deep reflection.

I further believe being the loving man I am today is a direct result of having reset my past even though I was not conscious of having done so.