Returning to Camp Harmony

Sunday I will leave for Iowa to visit family and to pick up some of what I have stored there. I will leave Tuesday for Santa Rosa where I'll spend a week or so. I am sure to visit the redwoods once again. Sometime in during the following week I will head south to the LA area--there is another Camp Harmony scheduled.

Anyone who has been following this blog will know that that the last Camp Harmony had a profound effect upon me. I have been reluctant to share those experiences with anyone beyond my most intimate friends. Yet this move to California will surprise and perhaps bewilder some of my most devoted supporters.

I have shared many experiences on this blog that have been beyond many peoples experience or even understanding. Yet they have been very real to me, and part of my life. So too are the experiences of Camp Harmony. Recently I wrote a lenghty letter to a friend descriibng those experiences. I have edited it to down to eleven pages. If you are truly interested, then you can read it on my From the Barn blog. The link is at the bottom of the page.

I will address the main issue of my book. No, it is not edited. Nor have I felt a need or desire to do so. The simpliest explanation is that I am not ready. I haven't abanonded it, nor have I even postposed it. I am very aware that what I am presently going through is part of the book process. As I went into the Camp Harmony retreat I came to realize that to fulfull all that the publishing of my book means, I must become balanced in body, mind and spirit.

As I said that, I thought I was very balanced in spirit and mind, and needed a lot of work on my body. That ought to teach me to think. lol. During the last few weeks I have been in great turmoil as I have strived to bring about the balance that I believe is not just necessary but essential. I have often said that I am at peace and harmony with and for my entire life. And so it might be surprising that I can be in such turmoil. (You can read more about this in the forementined article, but there is more to this than even what I share there.) What might surpsie you even more is that I chose to be in such turmoil. I can only say that it takes a great inner peace to chose such internal turmoil in effort to discover an even deeper sense of inner peace.

I don't know how long I will say in California. Long enough to get a job to support myself. I need to be close to my friends as this journey continues to unfold.

The journey continues.

http://journeychapters.blogspot.com/2009/08/camp-harmony-experiences.html

Still not editing

This rock formation is near Chatsworth, California where I was recently spent time in retreat with some great people. I have already posted about that experience but wanted to share this picture.

I have not yet edited my book. I had hoped to do so recently when while I was in Iowa to house sit for a vacationing cousin . While in route, I learned his brother had passed away. He had fought a hard battle against cancer for the last two years. His passing was a blessing but of course greatly grieved my family. My cousin did not take his vacation trip and instead of house sitting I helped my family at this time of loss.

I have returned to Illinois and have not felt like editing the book. It will come in all due time. Meanwhile I have applied for several house sitting jobs in California. I hope to live there for several months so I can be closer to my friends. House sitting seems like the perfect retirement job for me. It provides a place to stay and quiet to work on the book.

The journey continues.

Changes

This picture is from the first day of my current trip to California. While it was great to set my feet in the Pacific Ocean the water was still cold--certainly not as cold as in San Francisco Bay or even along the Oregon Coast--but it was still too cold to swim in for me. This was along Venice Beach and it was great fun to see all the funky people and shops. Yet that visit feels almost like ancient history.

I have just completed a seven day intensive retreat. I spoke briefly about this retreat in my last post. Of course, I was not alone and I spoke of the four people I was with in the last post. They are incredibly loving and powerful people. It was great to be amongst my peers. Please, do not read that as an egotistical statement.

We shared a strong desire to truly move beyond whatever personal issue we felt was holding us back from achieving the success we desired in and for our lives. Weeach brought high levels of experience, integrity, authenticity and consciousness to the group. We each brought a strong ability to stay in the moment and to trust our intuitions. This often manifested itself as saying the right thing/doing the right thing at the right moment that seemed to perfectly aid the process that was currently working. This included the ability to suggest just the right song for the moment and we have developed a soundtrack for the retreat. This diverse list includes music from U2, Crash Test Dummies, Marillion, John Denver, the Afro Celt Sound System, the soundtrack from Oliver as well as others. We each feel we have been profoundly changed by this retreat.


I started the week with the intention of understanding the issues that caused me to hold my weight. In the last post I spoke of working with my inner wounded child. This child felt protected by my layers of fat. Healing that child and bringing him fully into my heart helped fulfil my intention. So did one more process. A process that was so intense that I choose not to share it here. Through that process I came to understand that I did not have to be "big" to be seen or to be heard. I also do not have to be "big" to be able to be the powerful spiritual person that I am.

I could once again use a word that I far too often use (profound) but it might be more helpful for you to understand the change by describing how it has manifested itself: my body is talking to me. My body is telling me what it wants to eat. I know this is strange to hear and maybe even hard to believe but it is my real life experience. Imagine going to a restaurant and thinking that you were hungry for a hamburger but you're told by your body that it wants a salad. I ordered the salad. And it was great! More satisfying that I think the hamburger would have been. One evening we had all gone out to eat and I had ordered an entree and a dinner salad. The salad was great and I was looking forward to the entree. When it arrived at my table, I was no longer hungry for it--in fact it was nearly unappetizing--yet was exactly what I had ordered. I had it boxed up, and ordered another salad. This is not a diet. I am not sacrificing and what I eat is more satisfying that I thought possible. This is a lifestyle change. Oh, and i find my body likes to move: dancing, exercising walking and hiking.

I return to Illinois tomorrow.

The Journey continues

Family & More

I went to my family reunion in Bloomfield, Iowa on July 18th. We gathered at The Reunion Memorial Garden to remember and honor our family. This photo is of that garden. We begin each reunion this way. This was 25th Anniversary of the reunion and over 85 people were in attendance. It was a wonderful event.

I realize I haven't blogged for awhile, and can only say that my life has been busy. I was only back in Illinois a week before I went to Iowa for a week. I was once again in Illinois for a week when I returned to the west coast. This time to California.

I am near Burbank, California and am in retreat with some dear and loving friends. We call our retreat Camp Harmony. There are five of us here in attendance, and until Monday I had only met my dear friend Maria. Friendship with her is what we all have in common. That and being spirit and energy conscious people. It is hard to describe what this spiritual retreat is like. The words that come to mind are intense and loving. We almost instantly created a deep and loving bond that has allowed us to to "do" some intensive intrapersonal work. We each are working on issues that we wanted to work past.

For instance, I worked with my inner child Ricky yesterday. I intuited that this wounded child was part of my weight issue. This inner child has surrounded himself with fat to both protect itself and to be noticed. I'm sure there are those reading this that will not understand what I am talking about. And that is fine. It's my experience. I will just share that it was a emotionally draining hour. It is hard to describe the exercise to those who have not done inner work other than to use the word intense. I feel this event brought profound healing to me and is typical of the work we are doing while in retreat. And today is just day four of our week long retreat.

I will returning to Illinois next Wednesday for two days and then I'm returning to Iowa. My cousin has invited me to house sit while his family vacations. I intend to use the time to edit my book.

I live a nearly miraculous life. No. Let me correct that. I do live a miraculous life!

The journey continues.

Home?

I have arrived in Green Valley, Illinois. These daylillies are from my collection and are part of the front yard in my old house. My ex-wife is graciously letting me stay here while I am in transition. This is not home, and neither does Iowa feel like home. If I had to say where home was, I would say Oregon. It feels very surreal as I continue to meet and catch up with my friends. I have a very busy July and it may be August before I work on editting the book but I did come to a realization today.

Many of you were aware that I spent a lot of time in 2007 at the Pekin Riverfront writing. Between meetings, I returned there today to a bit of computer work. I realized I could edit my book there. It would seem almost poetic as many of the writings included in the book were received at the riverfront.

Other than a delightful summer cold, I am doing well.

The Journey continues.

It's not a secret

My last post indicated that I was editing my last chapter which I did complete. The truth is that I have received the last words, and the book is basically complete. This is the first draft and it is not ready for a publisher yet, but neither do I need to remain in Oregon. I had a dear friend ask if this was a secret and why it wasn't posted on my blog. And I realized she had a point, this information is not a secret. But she had another observation as well. I am on the left side of the country to do the creative portion of the book and am moving back east to do the editing or the critical portion . Which corresponds with using the left/right part of the brain. Although I am just moving to back to the Midwest, I liked her observation.

This picture is of the Rogue River Gorge that I visited week before last. I left Oregon as of July 1st. I spent a couple of days in Santa Rosa visiting my cousins and then a couple of days with a dear friend in San Leandro. We went to visit the redwoods again which is always a mystical experience for me.

And today, I am in Coalville, Utah just east of Salt Lake City.

The Journey continues.

Oh, and would you like to know the last words I received from God . . . they were "And I love you."

Crater Lake

Made the trip to Crater Lake yesterday. Wow! This shade of blue is hard to describe. There is a road that follows the rim of the crater and part of it was closed due to snow. Snow! I will post more photos as the week unfolds. I also stopped by The Rogue River Gorge and will post pics from there as well.

Meanwhile, it is back to editing the last chapter.

More Progress

This picture is from my trip to the Avenue of Giants. It is one of my favorite pictures. I do like trees.

I have been making excellent progress. I did answer the question about my Christianity. It took almost 20 pages. I do like to hear myself talk. lol.

I have also completed the discussion about prayer, which was nearly another 20 pages, and so if you've been keeping track--that means this chapter sits at 90 pages. And the grand total (drum roll please) is about 270 pages.

The last chapter will be a compilation of my past writings. That is my next project.

I am going to Crater Lake sometime this week and hope to have pictures to post.

The Journey continues.

The Question

I have been making progress on this chapter-55 pages. I believe there are only two more subjects to include on this chapter about Love & Faith.

From these postings it is quite clear that I believe in angels and that I believe in God but the question everyone wants to know is if I consider myself to be a Christian. That is what I am posed with in this chapter. And it's a difficult question to answer. I am struggling to answer it.

The struggle isn't IF I consider myself to be a Christian, but HOW I define it. I know what my feelings are, but they are difficult to articulate. I'm sure God and I will figure it out.

And the last subject is about prayer and that I do not pray the way I once did.

The Journey continues.

More Progress

I promised that I would post my photos from my recent visit to the Oregon Coast. The two photos that are side by side are of the same beach. The other two photos are of different beaches.

I continue to make progress on this chapter, now some 34 pages. I have been reading more of my past writings and will soon start writing again.

The Journey Continues.

I forgot

I forgot that I promised to post more pics from my trip. These are of the redwood forest that I recently visited.

I am never sure if I should share my struggles, but they are part of my reality. Yesterday I was beating myself up for having been distracted from my writing. It had been over a week since I had worked on the book, and so I talked to God about that. I posted an excerpt from yesterday's writing on From The Barn.

Meanwhile, rest assured that I am back to writing. I have now completed 22 pages in the new chapter and have been writing today and it is flowing well.

The Journey continues.

http://journeychapters.blogspot.com/2009/06/being-distracted.html

Smith River Gorge

During my cousin's visit we traveled over to the Oregon coast along Route 199 that runs along the Smith River. This is a beautiful river supplies by run off from the Siskou Mountains. The water is so clear that it takes a clear green color that resembles old glass Coke bottles. It was difficult to get a shot of the whole thing.

I took a series of shots moving down river. The temperatures along the water were about 10-15 degrees cooler than back at the Barn. The water was cold, but about a mile down stream the water calmed and there was a group of teenagers who were swimming.

This route also goes through the Redwood Forest. I have pictures from there as well as the coast and over the next few days, I'll post them.

Tomorrow, I'm off to visit my cousins in Santa Rosa. My landlords are taking some time off, so it will be the end of June before I get another opportunity to visit.

I haven't completely forgotten why I'm here and have produced 18 pages.

Smith River Gorge Continued

Next Chapter

I have a very kind and understanding landlord. He moved my writing table down to the lower pasture. My barnmates have been moved to another pasture and I can leave my table and chair in place. He even mowed a path so that I can walk down in my sandals without having to wade through weeds. Is he cool or what! I've included several views, so you can see where I write and the view from my table.

I took my book bag full of essentials down to my table yesterday and began a new chapter. I think this chapter is going to be about love and faith. Except the ten pages or so I wrote/received weren't exactly about love and faith, so we shall see how it goes.











I had an interesting experience with this writing. There were a couple of excerpts I thought God was wanting me to include in this current writing, but I thought we had used them already. I wasn't sure. I have read hundreds of pages of writings along with having received the many pages of this book. So this morning, I took the time to write up an outline of what I had written/received so far in this book. I think the usual process is to write the outline first, and the book second. As you can imagine, when you're writing a book with God, nothing about the process is normal. The process and this journey continues and I'm anxious to see what June brings.

Meanwhile, one of my favorite cousins is coming for a short visit next week. It will be good to see him. It will mean long talks over wine and cigars. I'm looking forward to it.

One Month

A month ago to the day, I started on this chapter. And I am happy to report that it is complete. Or at least receiving it is. This chapter ended up being 90 pages and that doubles my output to almost 200 pages. This has been a difficult chapter. I have been both emotional and pissed off while writing it. I have some work to do on editing it and printing it off. But that will wait.

My landlords garden continues to look great -- an ever changing array of color. It's another hot day in the 90's, I'm off to take a shower and take a nap. Hey, I'm retired you know!


The Journey continues.

Progress Report

It may seem that I have been goofing off too much. Photos of humming birds, trips to visit relatives and pictures posted of a close encounter. It's been awhile since I made a progress report. So, let see if I can get off the hook. (Or convince you I haven't been playing hooky.)

Before I went to Santa Rosa last weekend, I had 43 pages typed of the new chapter. I had written enough in my notebook to add a couple of more pages when I typed it up. As I sat down to write yesterday, it had been 10 days since I had last written. I just finished typing all of that up and now have 53 pages completed. In addition I have found several pertinent past writings and will be adding excerpts from them as well. I am sure this will push this chapter beyond 60 pages and maybe even 65 pages. And this chapter is not complete. Hopefully, this will prove that I haven't been goofing off. Or at the very least that I have chilled out about this book writing process.

And the latest news is that I have a new roommate. Make that barn mate. And not by choice. There is a small lizard here in Oregon called a fence lizard. It's just a bit bigger than a chameleon. He comes and goes from my foyer. The door to the main room is about an inch off the floor, so it could easily come on in. If it crawls over me in my sleep, you should be able to hear my scream in Iowa/Illinois.

Update on the humming birds. I definitely have at least a dozen now. Last night at dusk, I saw the the feeder was completed filled and there are ten spots available. There were still a couple of birds buzzing around. I continue to be fascinated by them and as you can imagine it is difficult to capture a picture of them all.

The Journey Continues.

Close Encounter

I spent the weekend in Santa Rosa with my favorite west coast cousins. Yesterday we went to Safari West where we had a close encounter with a giraffe. In this series of pictures you can see how he approached the jeep we were riding on top of. He seemed as curious about us as we were about him, and little did I know that I would get such a close up of him. What fun!

Meanwhile, it's back to writing tomorrow.

Close Encounter Continued

Six of the Seven

It's possible that there are more than seven, but I've only seen seven at one time. There's one that is particularly spectacular with a band of bright red around its neck. Haven't caught it with my camera yet. They eat about a pint of nectar per day. Am taking a day off from writing, but have 36 pages so far. Remember that you can click on the photo to enlargen it.

Only a Man Living Alone Can Appreciate

Only a man living alone can appreciate taking the time to grill a hamburger to perfection and arranging the the fixin's until it's piled high and then being able to take as big of bite as he wants and not having to care if it drips and stains his shirt.

Only a man living alone can appreciate the disappointment that no one notices he's drinking out of the bottle. It's just not fun any more.


In more interesting news I have at least seven humming birds feeding at my feeder. I'm seen as many as five feeding at one time with another two hovering around. This feeder hangs just above the table on my porch. I often sit there to write/type and they don't seem to mind unless I move suddenly. Am trying to get a picture of them, but you can imagine how difficult that is.